


run away with me, lost souls and reverie

by gendrys



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, But also, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Mutual Pining, Romantic Fluff, Slow Burn, Sort of? - Freeform, get me away from historical aus i swear this is my 3rd one pls pay for my therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:02:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26575705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gendrys/pseuds/gendrys
Summary: A few days had passed and Kim Yongsun was, the future warrior determined, the most insufferable woman in the realm.----Or Byulyi has to serve as the bodyguard to the princess. Yongsun doesn't really like being watched over.
Relationships: Kim Yongsun | Solar/Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul
Comments: 19
Kudos: 218





	1. spring

The eastern city of Gyeongju failed to have the vast empty fields to practice horse riding on, nor it had the chilly night breeze that would quietly sweep through the ancient trees surrounding the small villages around their palace. 

Still, it would have to do; Or at least that’s what Moon Byulyi reckoned. It was her actions that had taken her to where she was now. Clad in leather and iron armor, heavy boots gently kicking at her horse to push forward, bow hanging loosely around her left shoulder and a newly forged sword resting inside its scabbard against her hip, the woman was the perfect picture of a knight.

Harsh she fought to reach her dream of becoming one; harsh were the consequences of said actions. 

It was uncommon for women to become a part of the army. This was well known not only to Moon Byulyi but to her family as well. A part of her father had always known, or at least that’s what she liked to believe to alleviate some of the inner guilt her heart silently carried. 

His unfazed reaction when she announced she would be giving up on their efforts to marry her to a Western lord in order to join the royal army was the first reason for her theory. 

The offer to help her achieve her goals was the second one.

_ “You are a woman at twenty. I shall give you that, but I am still your father. If you want to become the best you shall have to start from the bottom. Serving.”  _

A training camp or years of fighting in small conflicts were options that Moon Byulyi was certain were going through her father’s head. 

Never did she actually believe he would enlist her as the personal guard for the heiress of the Silla kingdom.

Her shocking reaction was mayhaps what her father had been looking for; judging by the guffaw he gave out at it, that is. 

During her journey her mind had been slowly reflecting on the matter, though. Accompanied by only two fellow Moon soldiers as an escort, silence and thus time to ponder reigned during both, day and night. 

It would take years for her to reach higher ranks; that is if she ever got to become well-respected among the many men in charge of the country’s defenses. Still, it was a better fate than being betrothed to a stranger and sent away from home to his lands. 

Luckily she had sisters. 

Luckily they loved her dearly and were willing to endure that fate in order to see their eldest succeed at something so extraordinary for a woman in their times. 

They lived in her heart and mind. First thing she would do in the morning after the palace was reached would be to send word to them that she’d arrived safe and sound. 

For now, though, the gates of the capital were opened at the mere sight of her Northern banner. 

Without fear, Moon Byulyi entered.

▝▝▝

The room she would be staying in was warm. The bed was soft, and the balcony small but the view made up for it. The sound of waves crashing against the shore not very far away reached her ears, as did the salty smell of the ocean. 

It was all very inviting for exploration. She had never really seen the sea up-close, way less had she ever taken a dive into the water. It scared her as much as it excited her. There were two servants at her disposition, one that offered her some water, the other one that carried her luggage and was starting to prepare a bath. 

It was all supposed to feel homely, welcoming. 

She sat down on the desk and started to write a letter to her sisters.

▝▝▝

A few days had passed and Kim Yongsun was, the future warrior determined, the most insufferable woman in the realm. 

It still was better than being married to a complete stranger - a  _ man  _ at that - but the relaxation techniques for a  _ proper lady  _ that her mother had taught her a few years back were finally proving to be of use. 

Having the obligation of following the princess wherever she went was not helping her current odyssey either. 

_ You’re too close. You’re too far. Don’t go there. Please chew with your mouth closed.  _

She did have all of the qualities the future great leader of Silla should possess, Moon Byulyi determined. At least that was something. Why she had to show the bossy traits at her own expenses though, she wasn’t sure. 

Maybe she did it to aggravate her further. 

_ 3 personal guards in the last 4 months, Lady Moon. She doesn’t like being guarded. She likes to do as she pleases. _

A warm set of welcoming words by one of Kim Yongsun’s ladies-in-waiting during her first day, Moon Byulyi thought during the rest of the night in her large chambers. 

Still, pettiness drove her into persisting. If the Princess was going to be a pain in the ass to her, then she was going to make sure to be ten times worse. 

During breakfast, the youngest of the two would make sure to keep the jars of juice by her side, leaving Yongsun with nothing but lukewarm water. 

An exasperated sigh would always let her know it was all starting. 

“Lady Moon.” 

“My princess.” She’d reply courteously. Personal war or not, gods be damned, she would not forget her manners. 

“The orange juice.” The Princess would command in a pointy tone. Any other would’ve been frightened by the order itself. Not many things scared Moon Byulyi though. 

“I beg your pardon, your grace?” 

A pause. “The juice.” 

With a smirk, the blonde would drink the last sip of whatever was left in her glass. It wasn’t until after she was done that she’d pass the jar to Yongsun, only to have the eldest discover it completely empty. 

True, no less than four servants would rush to her side to take the container from her and bring three more full ones, but the sight of a pulsing vein on the princess’s forehead would make it all worth it. Even if the actions sent her running to the privy not much later.

Gods, even if Kim Yongsun ordered for her to be sent to the dungeons and executed at first light, it would all be worth it. 

If she was indeed leaving, Moon Byulyi would make sure it was not because she was a quitter, but because the princess sent her into exile like a war hero that got songs written for them.

▝▝▝

Yongsun had taken a liking to wandering about in the palace’s gardens at noon. She had also personally requested her personal guard to hold an umbrella over her head to protect her royal face from the sun. 

It was all a deception; That much, Moonbyul knew. From the few weeks they’d gotten to spend together, the bodyguard had learned that not only Yongsun despised long walks because of the misery of it all - heavy skirts, layers of long sleeves and a seemingly bulky headpiece - but because the princess did not have any liking for her entourage. 

The only lady that Yongsun cared for like a younger sister was the lady-in-waiting that had mocked her during her first day after Moon Byulyi had fallen down the slippery stairs. 

Ahn Hyejin disliked social affairs as well, though. And thus, she was usually found hanging about in the kitchens or lurking in the shadows, bag of water always within reach so she could splash someone with it. 

Moonbyul had learned of it in not such a nice way.

It was easy for Ahn Hyejin to escape these types of gatherings, however. Kim Yongsun had a regal duty of dealing with them. As boring as these people were, maintaining their allies by her side was always more important. 

Moon Byulyi, on the other hand, had a duty of being scorched under the fiery midday sun. It was all a part of Yongsun’s scheme for vengeance. The royal guard knew she was going to be in trouble the minute the princess overheard her complaining over the warm leather on her armor during the humid summer in the capital. 

It would leave a mark. It would surely hurt.

She would have to strategize a subtle retaliation. A freezing shower at night to try and calm the pain would surely give her some time to go over it. 

The evil ideas going through her mind distracted her well enough for her to accidentally bump into Yongsun. 

While the princess turned to scowl at her, indignant, the blonde could only squeak in sunburn-related agony. 

The crowd had dissipated. It took her a moment to hear the kitchen bells, ringing loudly to announce that lunch was ready to be served. 

“My apologies.” Moon Byulyi forced herself to mumble with a quick bow. The movement sent her into another yelp. 

Kim Yongsun smirked evilly at that. 

“Are you unwell, Lady Moonbyul?” 

“No.” She lied. To try and prove her point, her limbs attempted to stretch as much as they could without feeling like she was going to die. “I’m doing perfectly well, princess. I appreciate the sunlight. We scarcely get it in the North.” 

Yongsun wasn’t fully convinced; the gleam of victory in her eyes reflected it. How she was able to read black-haired royal so easily, the guard was unsure. It was the last of her problems when the heiress ventured to speak again. 

“Very well. I shall meet you at dinner then, I expect. You’re relieved from your duty until then.” When she had walked a few meters away, her powerful voice was heard again. “You do look awfully hot, however. I’m sure some water would help.” 

Before Moon Byulyi could react, a bag full of water hit the back of her head. 

▝▝▝

The inner conflict had gotten so normalized by the month of Byulyi’s stay, that the blonde failed for a second to think about the King’s reaction to their little childish battle. 

So when the heiress to the realm started choking on her tea with some  _ salt  _ in it instead of sugar, Byul’s life quickly flashed before her eyes as the King worriedly stared at his daughter. 

“Is everything alright, dear?” 

That’s how she would die. It was stupid. All of her training and expectancy to at least die in battle only to starve inside a dungeon. 

Maybe that one wasn’t going to be that much worth it. 

A word from Yongsun and it all would be over. Worst-case scenario, they’d force her to marry the old, drunk man in charge of cleaning the stables. Maybe if she started to run now, she’d be able to steal a boat.

“I’m fine, father. I'ts nothing.” 

The strangled response form a red-faced Yongsun startled her to say the least, just as she was starting to  _ unsuspiciously  _ slip under the table. 

“It’s just a bit dusty, I suppose.” 

Not entirely convinced, the King still nodded. “I’ll have the caretaker clean more thoroughly later.” 

When Byulyi lifted her eyes to glimpse at Yongsun, brown eyes were staring right back.

▝▝▝

So far, the only thing that was left for the unlikely co-dependent pair was to go to the armory and take some swords and shields. 

Facing off in the courtyard did not actually sound like a bad idea. Moonbyul even assumed that the princess would enjoy it. 

Not that she cared about what the royal would enjoy or not. Absolutely not. She would utterly deny such thought ever going through her head if someone were to ask. 

But mayhaps she could propose the entertaining idea of a little innocent sparring near the barracks just for fun. Yongsun had been looking stressed lately, a little bit more than usual. The war had even reached a sort of unspoken truce after Yongsun failed to retaliate Byulyi placing rocks inside her pillowcase. 

It was odd.

Not that she cared. 

▝▝▝

She had not meant to eavesdrop. Truly. It was just too late at night and the palace was in complete silence. The blonde was experiencing trouble sleeping, so she had taken a liking to strolling through the corridors as she awaited for tiredness to take over. 

Tonight her insomnia was getting the best of her. It was past midnight and Byulyi still felt like she could run to the North and back. Getting to see the palace beautifully lit by candlelight at night had been wonderful at first. 

Now, it was turning into the same old tour around the place. 

Yongsun’s chambers were two rooms away from hers. Even in the hallway the loud snoring emerging from inside made her snicker to herself. 

Three times she’d told the princess about her snoring and three times the eldest had been convinced it was just another one of her jests. Mayhaps one day she’d barge into her bedroom only to wake her up as she lets out another sharp wheeze. 

The King’s voice caught her attention quickly enough to distract her from the amusive idea. He had not seen her and she didn’t know her feet had taken her so far away from her side of the palace. 

His grace's royal chambers weren’t as big as his daughters, something she was sure Yongsun was behind of, but the Kim symbol still adorned the half-opened doors beautifully in glistening gold, even in darkness. 

As soon as Byulyi turned to leave on her tip-toes, someone else inside the room spoke. 

“I know the princess has been postponing this for years now, your grace. But I’m afraid that marriage is something she can’t run away from forever. The people will not accept a Queen without a King by her side.” 

The words resonated inside Moon Byulyi as if they had been directed towards her. And maybe they had been, just a few months prior. By her father, not by a complete stranger instructing her father how to sell her off.

Things were simpler for her, though. A lesser kingdom, in the service of the royal family, that guarded the North and kept the King’s peace as far as their territory would reach. While important, the future of the kingdom did not rest in her hands. 

In the middle of her and Yongsun’s little war she had failed to remember how the princess’s destiny had been fixed for her even before she was born. Their silly behavior had maybe blinded them both for weeks. 

With a heavy sigh, the King conceded. “You’re right, I’m afraid. It’s not something that she will take lightly, though.” 

“Certainly not. But it is something that must be done if you intend for your royal blood to remain on the throne.” 

_ Not just a marriage. A heir too.  _

Without waiting for a reply from the ruler, the advisor stood up, and for a moment spoke with more authority than the King himself. “I shall write a letter to the family of the best suitor.” 

The door creaked open. 

Moon Byulyi ran. 

▝▝▝

The reasoning behind Yongsun’s recent odd behaviour was completely justified now in Byulyi’s eyes. Not only did she seem sadder, but she’d also stopped torturing her personal guard with the daily strolls in the garden and the constant nagging for her to walk her back to her room at night when Byul was just about to fall asleep on her feet. 

It was not that she missed being tormented, but failing to pull stupid tricks on Hyejin only to find her belongings outside in the rain after a long day was simply not the same. 

_ Not  _ that she cared. It was just that if Kim Yongsun was not around to be the target of her antics, life would become boring inside the palace walls. 

What was the point of being a personal guard if the subject for said guarding barely left her room through the entire day? 

It was a waste of time. That’s what Byulyi would meditate about after yet another dull day of wagering in the barracks or walking through the city market. On her bed, and still not tired at all with her armor still on, the blonde groaned in frustration. 

She could be fighting in a war, as small as it was. She could be training hard. She could be traveling to other lands freely now that her marriage was off the table. 

Instead, she was here. Bored. Not tired at all. And mad at herself for all of these stupid excuses she was coming up with to not admit she was maybe  _ a bit _ worried about Yongsun. 

Just a little bit. 

The utter irritation towards herself was what made her jump off the bed, boots heavily stomping on the wooden floor as she came out of her bedchamber, headed to the princess’s own massive room. 

Only two men stood guard by the door, one on the left, the other one on the right. If that could be called standing guard, that is, with both sleeping soundly against the red-painted wall. It took Byulyi no effort to slip inside the chamber with the door clicking behind her. 

Maybe that’s why they needed a new personal guard after all. 

The blonde half expected the princess to immediately yell at her for the sudden intrusion. Or maybe not yell, since that would attract unwanted attention from the entire royal army. More like a reproachful speech in whispers along with a sternful stare. Those had turned quite common lately, the few times Yongsun allowed herself to be seen during meals.

With great willpower, Moon Byulyi pushed down the excited anticipation for it. 

It quickly turned into panic when she realized that the princess was nowhere to be found. As gigantic as the bedroom was, it was implausible for her to be hiding under the carpet or even the bathtub to her left. The bed was empty and still untouched. The candles were new and the clothes inside the closet intact. 

_ I’m dead. _

A thousand things ran in Byulyi’s mind at once. Maybe she escaped. Maybe she was dead. Maybe she was on her way to China already. Maybe she had been kidnapped. Maybe she was hiding somewhere in the nearest village. 

The explanation did not matter in the end, she realized. If she didn’t find the princess, she’d be dead. 

▝▝▝

Complaining about how tired she hadn’t been before was chasing her now. Hours later, a visit to the large town, every single room in the palace, inspections to every cart in the village, and an unpleasant visit to a brothel later, Moon Byulyi was exhausted to the core. 

It was a well-deserved punishment for not appreciating the peace she’d had for the last few days, she assumed. The gods were both, just and cruel.

Defeated, Byul returned to the palace. Instead of going in from the main entrance to avoid being questioned on the spot about her nighttime actions, her sore feet guided her to the gardens at the back of the palace. The short walls surrounding it would’ve given her no trouble were she in her best shape. 

Right now though, the weary soldier clung onto the stones with her teeth even, falling over the wall, landing on her back with a  thud _. _

“Great.” Sarcasm was let out with a grunt. A tear threatened to roll down her cheek but the blonde quickly swept it away with a dirty hand. 

Crawling looked tempting enough. Nobody would see her in that pathetic state anyway. Not at three in the morning, at least. 

No human. Her ancestors would surely roll in their graves, judging from the afterlife. As if having an unwedded woman-soldier in the family wasn’t enough for them. 

Gathering strength, the blonde sat up.

The gardens were immense. Perhaps even bigger than the palace itself. Trees would reach the highest watchtower, weeds and roots would cover the soil, bushes would trap you if you weren’t careful enough, random ponds would drown you if you didn’t see where the bridge was. 

It was then that it occurred to her that she had failed to check the royal gardens. 

Not that she wanted to anymore. All she yearned for was to be dragged to her featherbed and sleep for a week straight. They could throw her into a cell as long as they gave her a bed and some food. The point of caring had been left behind. Maybe at the village after she stepped in horse shit.

“Yong?” She gave one last attempt, a weak calling that would not be heard farther than a few feet from where she was. “Yong?” Just a bit louder this time.

Silence.

A nod was to her the acceptance of her doom when the morning came. Maybe she should just fall asleep right there and there. The forest was big enough for her to live in for a few years like a wild woman until they inevitably found her. 

She should probably start considering her choices before dawn. 

A small rock was thrown into the darkness of the woods. Its sound echoed back to her ears. She liked it. It was calming. 

She did it again. 

The knock came back to her. 

She did it again. 

“If you call me _Yong_ again, I will make sure you eat nothing but hay for the rest of your life.” 

_ Wait.  _

_ That wasn’t the rock.  _

“Yong?” Byulyi called back, brow furrowed. Maybe she was finally going insane. Just a few minutes into the wilderness and she was already turning into a madwoman. 

But the exasperated whine that reverberated through the trees was unmistakable. “What the hell did I just tell you, stupid?” 

“Don’t stop! Keep insulting me.” With renewed strength the blonde soldier rushed into the gardens. 

She tripped. She smacked herself against a trunk. Something stung her forearm. Every time any of that happened, she screamed in alarm. Every time she screamed, Yongsun laughed. 

Some bruises later, and following the sound of her laughter, she finally saw her. 

On a blue, old bridge over a large pond, Kim Yongsun stood wearing her golden nightgown, black hair free of any restraints and falling loosely down her shoulders. With no make-up, barefoot, and with bags under her eyes, she looked extraordinarily beautiful.

_ Wait. What? _

“You certainly took your time.” Yongsun’s mockery thankfully distracted her from the funny feeling in her belly.

A stomach parasite, most likely. 

“Is this some sort of stupid game you put all of your personal guards through?” 

“No.” The princess replied, gazing longingly at the water shining underneath the moonlight. “Only you.” 

And the parasite was back.

An annoyed huff was the best she could do to hide it. Her outer demeanor was displaying indifference, or at least she hoped so, but her insides were starting to get all fluttery again as she walked onto the bridge - half expecting it not to crumble down - so she could stand next to Yongsun.

She would be lying if she said she hated the feeling. 

They didn’t say anything to one another. Few words were exchanged between them, even after a month of borderline combat. Most of what Byulyi knew from her, she’d heard from Hyejin or others around the palace. 

It felt oddly exciting, this new potential dynamic of theirs.

She wanted to ask, poke at her with a stick so Yongsun broke out of her shell and told her all about her life. A new sense of curiosity for the other woman filled her soul. It wasn’t proper. One could really not speak so freely without being prompted to first by the rulers of Silla, but if there was something Moon Byulyi was a personal devotee of, was not exactly following the rules.

“It’s not every day that I see a princess run away from her palace.”

“Do you know many princesses?” Was the rebuttal. 

It startled Byulyi at first but quickly regained her composure with a smuggy smirk. 

“A few.” A lie, but it was better than to admit she was the first noble-woman she’d ever met. “None of them tried to escape, though.” 

Yongsun puffed out her answer. “I was not escaping. I have just been coming here every night. It’s peaceful.” 

That Byulyi could not deny. Not seeing Yongsun often during the days made sense then. The princess would sleep during the day and be up at night. Much like herself, back home, whenever she was pensive.

The blonde didn’t say anything. She only nodded, which she doubted Yongsun could discern under the faint moonlight, but her mind couldn’t come up with much else to say. 

This Kim Yongsun truly made Byulyi experience way too many strange things she never had before in a short time-span. 

It angered her at first. Now it was kind of thrilling.

Not that she’d admit it out-loud. 

“I’m being forced into marriage.” The princess half-yelled, half-whispered into the night, ending it with a gasp, as if she had been holding it in for a long time.

Not much could be seen, but Byulyi could hear her labored breath, chest heaving after the adrenaline of said confession. She was unsure on how her majesty wanted her to react exactly. It was too late to act surprised but an agape expression would be too fake. Instead, she settled for a low  _ huh.  _

“And I assume you don’t want to marry.” 

A scoff. One that she was growing accustomed to hearing. “Yes. I do want to, Moonbyul. That’s precisely why I’m hiding in the forest at night.”

Byulyi couldn’t help but laugh at that. Even with so much on her shoulders, the somewhat real Yongsun she liked to believe she was starting to get to know was in there. Sassing her, of course.

“Well.” She continued, hands clasping and unclasping. “Is he ugly?” 

“I don’t even know him.” 

That didn’t really come as a surprise to Moonbyul either. She had not known the man her family intended to marry her to either. Her parents barely knew each other too. It was an ugly custom. 

She silently wondered how more doom would await her in the afterlife if she dare try to break that tradition too. After everything she’d done so far, the punishment couldn’t possibly get worse.

“I understand that you decided to remain unwed for the rest of your days.” 

Why exactly Yongsun kept talking to her, Byulyi did not know. Maybe it was because they were both women with an utter disgust for tradition. Maybe she did not have another choice; She was in the middle of a lonely woodland after all.

Still, Moonbyul could not help but wonder something else. 

“How exactly do you know that?” 

The question made Yongsun chuckle. The sound made Byulyi a bit dizzy. 

“People talk. Especially to me. Especially when it’s about the person who is supposed to keep me safe.” 

A pause.

“Which I failed at doing.” 

“Which you failed at doing. Yes.” 

“Okay.” A brow went up in interest as she leaned against the bridge’s rail. “What else have these gossipers told you about me?” 

“You’re the first-born of the Moon clan. You wanted to become a soldier instead of a wife, so you gave up your claim to the Northern lands in order to become one. That is how you, to our horror, ended up with me.” 

“Decent enough.” 

“Is there more?” 

“Oh, there is more.” A smile had taken over Byulyi’s lips. It was very visible now that the moon wasn’t being blocked by mist and clouds. Her body turned, back resting on the rails now, to fully look at Yongsun. “But right now I happen to be more interested in learning about you.” 

A flicker of nervousness glowed in Yongsun’s eyes for a moment. Had she ever been asked that before? Byulyi could bet she had not. 

“There’s not really that much to tell.” The princess replied, arms crossed.

“Not much to tell? As the princess of Silla?” 

“A boring life, trust me.” 

A sense of sympathy took a hold of the blonde at the sadness in Yongsun’s voice. She’d heard it many times coming from herself back when she was supposed to carry tradition. Back when she wasn’t free. 

In a low voice, Byulyi whispered. “I know you really do want to run away, Yongsun.” 

An embarrassed chuckle. “I was kind of hoping that’s why you were coming after me for. To help me escape my fate.” 

“Yong-”

“If I asked you, Moonbyul. Would you help me run away?” 

It was difficult to hold Yongsun’s stare as she spoke. Everything at that moment felt like an impossible task, mainly when it came to forming words. With a tight hold on the wooden bridge, she ventured. 

“You’re asking me if I would start a civil war for you.” 

“Yes.” The answer was cold. Swift. “Yes. I am.”

“I-” Treason. One wrong word and it would be considered treason to the kingdoms. Her life, her family, her lands. The reply came with a heavy sigh. “My loyalty is to the realm and its King.” 

Silence.

And a sad smile. “Yes. I suppose it is.”

▝▝▝

The pair returned to their chambers before dawn. While Yongsun was able to sleep as much as she wanted throughout the day, Byulyi still had patrols to run and new recruits to enlist.

With only two hours of sleep, the last thing the blonde wanted as the sun was setting in the west was to hear that her presence was required in the gardens. The perfect plan of bathing, stuffing her face with food before going off to bed as early as possible was utterly ruined. 

If this was one of Hyejin’s dumb pranks again, she’d have to take quick action against the youngest. Losing her in the back-forest wouldn’t be such a bad idea if Hyejin wasn’t smart enough to guess her intentions from the moment she casually invited her for a walk in the creepy depths of the ancient backyard. 

The anger from being torn away from her plans quickly dissipated when she saw Kim Yongsun waiting for her near the wooden arch covered by blue moon wisterias. The purple color of the flowers enhanced the lovely orange-y like skies produced by dusk. All the colors seem to come together to frame Yong’s silhouette into perfection. 

The heavy sleeves were gone, as was the set-piece that would always stay on whenever her personal entourage was around. Instead, she wore a simple white jeogori that was adorned with a lavender goreum, a long pink chima that hid her feet, and dangling from her waist there was an expensive-looking golden doringae of a dragon.

Byul could suddenly feel her face grow warm. Whether it was from how beautiful the princess looked or the sheer embarrassment of her dirtied state - muddy boots, smelly body armor, and greasy hair - after a day of traveling through the city. 

When Yongsun laughed, the bodyguard knew she had noticed.

_ Dammit. _

“My lady.” She said, still trying to hide her bashfulness with a bow in an attempt to salvage some of the dignity she had left. “Are you unwell?” 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“You’ve never requested my presence at this time of the day. I find it strange.” 

Yong simply shrugged. “I am quite strange in case you have not noticed already.” 

The princess started to walk away from her. It was an invitation, Byulyi realized right on time. A cue for the blonde to follow her without having to ask. Before yesterday, the bodyguard would have walked away with a respectful bow. Now, she followed suit.

“I have. A strange creature of the night that preys on the innocent that just want to sleep.” 

“Unlike the many other princesses that you know?” She teased. 

“Unlike the many other princesses that I know. Indeed.” 

Yong could insist on asking about these women; just enough to pester Moonbyul with her own lie. She didn’t, however. To Byul, it meant that the princess was either gravely ill or was planning on murdering her. The latter made more sense to both of them. 

And still, she could not stop herself from walking by her side. No umbrella to be held, no empty-headed aristocrats to stand, no battles between the two. Just a harmless stroll through the open gardens at dusk. 

“Are you still thinking about running away?” 

It was an honest question, albeit one that should not be asked to a noble of her rank due to its intrusiveness. She waited for silence, but Yongsun answered. 

“Maybe.” She admitted. “I won’t ask anything from you, though. You shouldn’t be worried about that.” 

“I‘m not.” A truthful reply. 

The pair fell into comfortable silence soon enough. The road of the open gardens would extend until they reached the ancient woods. It would disappear then, as would the candlelight now illuminating their path. 

Deviating from the established concrete road in order to head into the freedom that the large trees provided was tempting enough; but dinner would be served soon and the guards would start looking for them. An alarm could be raised were they not found inside the palace without a previous announcement for their absence.

From the corner of her eyes, Byulyi could see the black-haired woman having the same idea.

“Can I ask you a question?” 

Or not. 

“Whatever pleases your grace.” She curtsied with a suppressed laugh. Yong rolled her eyes. 

“You refused to marry, correct?” 

“Is this about the gossip that you were told about me?” Byulyi asked suspiciously. Still, the amusement gleamed in her eyes. 

“No.” Yong sputtered. “Ye- Perhaps.” 

“Yong. Whatever you want to ask, you may ask. It’s fine.” 

Ignoring the informal title that was created the previous night, the princess continued. “Why did you?” 

“You must know why.” There were some walnuts scattered on the ground, so Moonbyul took the chance to collect some midnight snacks as she spoke. “Who really wants to get married to a complete stranger that you’ve never met before?” 

Yongsun was nervous. Byulyi could tell, even from her kneeling position on the ground. It had come to her attention that the Princess would bite her lower lip or her eyes would wander around the place to look at anything but the reason for her uneasiness. 

With more walnuts to gather, however, Moonbyul thought it would be better to give her the time she needed to compose herself instead of pushing her past the point of no return. 

Her patience proved to be fruitful when Yong finally asked, “Are you sure it’s not also because you fall in love with women instead of men?” 

It was all said so fast that had she not been paying enough attention, Byulyi would’ve completely missed the whole thing. Her lips quirked upwards in a smile she tried her hardest to conceal. 

With enough walnuts to last for a few days, the bodyguard let herself slump backwards so she could sit with her legs crossed, looking up at Yongsun. 

To her delight, the princess was flustered. Mayhaps more than Byulyi had been at the entrance of the gardens. The candlelight did wonders to magnify her puffy, tinted cheeks. The heiress gulped, eyes examining everything but the woman sitting right at her feet.

“Is that something that you heard from the rumors too?” 

“If it’s untrue I do apologize. It was not my intention to-” 

“There is no need to apologize. It is true. I have no shame over my nature.” 

“Oh.”

Her shoulders had visibly relaxed, eyes finally on Byulyi, but there was still something unsaid that Byul could really not pinpoint with enough certainty. 

Hands fidgeting, the princess took a deep breath. “Byul-” 

The bell rang behind them. Dinner was served.


	2. summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That’s dumb.” 
> 
> “You’re dumb.”

**SUMMER:**

“You and her majesty have been acting weird.” 

“We have not.” 

“Yes, you have. You have been on monotonous strolls every evening for days now, you address each other in a civilized manner, you don’t try to  _ kill  _ each other anymore. It’s all turned so boring.” 

Hyejin had decided to tag along for one of Byulyi’s weekly patrols around town. There were usually not many illegal things going on. The capital's army was extremely skillful at keeping the King’s peace and it showed. 

The new recruits were not looking so promising so far though. She just hoped the blame wouldn't fall on her completely. Yes, she _might_ have been neglecting her trainer duties in order to spend more time with Yongsun but that was something that wasn't needed to be revealed. That was her main job after all, to be close to the princess so she could guard her. Or so she'd tell herself repeatedly.

Still, she had to make herself known around the place just in case something did happen. Not only known but respected as well. A few had already spoken to her in an apathetic manner. Turns out not many men liked a woman to have authority over them. Moonbyul enjoyed every second of it, truth be told.

It was usually quiet. 

Today was not the case.

“Did you get threatened with execution? Did she pull a knife on you? Did she try to set you on fire?” 

“No. No. And most definitely not. We’ve just sort of reached an agreement.” 

“An agreement on ending my only source of entertainment in this dull land?” 

“If you want to put it like that. Yes.” Hyejin looked like she wanted to cry. The blonde felt like she’d achieved something greater than becoming a General. “Her grace has just been a bit worried about her betrothal.” 

“And you’re supposed to make her feel better about that?” 

“More like I’m distracting her from the inevitable for a little while.” 

"Distracting ho-"

A shrieking scream had Byulyi’s hand fly to the hilt of her sword. It came from behind them, and so did the loud crashing of a window. A bloodied-looking man soon followed, landing near their feet.

“Don’t you ever dare coming back here again!” A woman yelled from inside the building. She appeared right behind the now broken glass to deliver her threat. As barely visible as the woman was, the power in her voice was still enough to frighten anyone who heard her, including the two women standing agape at the scene playing in front of them.

“Byul." Hyejin cracked up after the initial shock had passed. "I think I know the perfect place you can take her grace to distract her from the inevitable.” 

The sign above the sturdy door read  _ WHEEIN’S FINE TAVERN. _

▝▝▝

It had been difficult at first to try and get out of the palace walls. Not out of fear. The princess had been trying to get out and explore the town for ages now but had never been allowed to do so, not even with personal bodyguards and cavalry to escort her. 

No. It was Byulyi the one that seemed to be anxious about it. 

They would be escaping in the shadows after all, after everyone in the palace and their mothers had gone to sleep. Yongsun assured her that there was a secret passage that led to the outskirts, one that was only meant to be used during an imminent attack on the city so the royal family could flee.

_ I’m the one who is going to be fleeing the city if we’re caught,  _ was the only thing running in Byul’s mind. 

Hyejin suggested it, but she could not truly put the full blame on her when she was the one who told Yongsun about the idea. Being completely honest to herself, she had never fully expected the princess to be so eager to visit a random pub in the middle of the local slums. 

Yong was a self-proclaimed rebel that wished to see the world, that Byulyi knew. She just never believed that by  _ the world  _ she meant a decaying tavern right next to a suspicious-looking building.

“I’ll be fine, Byul.” The royal had insisted in the early morning as they took their daily stroll near the ponds. 

The weather was starting to change. It was hot but there was also a cool breeze in the mornings that made Byulyi feel homesick. It was feeble, but her heart still swelled up. Not only in nostalgia, but in tenderness as the wind swept through Yongsun’s loose black hair, making it spiral elegantly for a few seconds only to have it then come down her shoulders with such delicacy that the bodyguard did not know if she was maybe only imagining it all. 

“It’s just for half the night anyhow.” Her princess's voice made her crash back to reality so hard that she felt her backside hurt a bit from the imaginary fall. “Besides, you’ll be there.” 

The sultriness in the words was hard to miss, hardly whimsical at all. Yet, it left as soon as it came, with Yongsun turning her attention to the hungry fish in the water that she was so delighted in feeding. 

Clearing her throat, which was followed by an embarrassing cough that had Yongsun looking pleased enough, Byulyi spoke. “I’m a good warrior, yes. Nevertheless, there is not much I would be able to do if we were ambushed by ten men.” 

Yong shrugged at the potential risk. Unfazed and without fear. “You could bring a few soldiers along. I wouldn’t mind. There are some that happen to be more loyal to me than they are to my father.” 

The question the eldest woman had asked her nights ago at the bridge came to her all of the sudden. Then, she’d sworn fealty to the King. 

Now, seeing Yongsun crouched near the pond, laughing out loud at the colorful fish as water was being splashed on her face, her heart skipped a beat at the vows she’d taken when she became a soldier. 

_ The sun sets and my journey begins. May it not rise again until my blood has tinted the skies red anew. I shan’t marry, take lands, or win glory. My life is the realm’s and the realm is my life.  _

The words for the oath she’d taken before venturing to the capital in the presence of her father echoed in her mind like a pulsing reminder of her promise. Mentally, Byulyi repeated them. 

“I’d much rather we go alone. The less attention we bring to ourselves the better.” 

“Not even Hyejin?” The princess asked sarcastically. 

_ To be mocked for the rest of my days?  _

“Most certainly not Hyejin, no.” 

There was a high chance she would already be there anyway, if the loving expression she had on after the tavern’s owner almost killed a man was enough of a clue. The youngest had a likeness for danger, and the angered woman seemed dangerous enough.

Yongsun giggled again. It was starting to become Byulyi’s favorite sound, she decided. 

“It will be alright. I have not been outside the palace since I was a child. Nobody will recognize me.” 

_ I will. _

“Well, I certainly hope you do.” 

_ Did I say that out loud? _

Another laugh. A snort this time. “You did, stupid.” 

“Ugh. Stop doing that.” 

“It’s not my fault you’re so ridiculous.” Emptying the last bag of food into the pond, Yongsun got on her feet with a stupidly smug smile on her face. “Tonight after dinner?” 

▝▝▝

The secret passage did, in fact, exist. But its existence wasn’t really what surprised Moon Byulyi. It was how extensive and awfully old and dark it was. Had she not brought a torch, they would’ve certainly fallen to their deaths down the stony steps at least thrice already. 

Well, she would have. Yongsun would’ve rolled her eyes at her lack of gracefulness while murmuring  _ I told you so.  _

Her majesty was far from looking discontent, however. Even under the hood that Byulyi had given her so she could hide her face just in case any acquaintance happened to be near the streets, her gaze could catch a glimpse of an excited, toothy smile that motivated her push forward in their descent. 

A rat ran past them. Byulyi almost tripped. 

“We need more cats.” Yongsun reflected as two or three more rats appeared after the first. 

“What you need is to burn this place down. Come on.” 

Moonbyul took Yong’s wrist into her hand and advanced. She didn’t really know where the passage ended, or if there would be a door or just an opening waiting for them at the other side, but she needed something to distract herself from the rodents. 

Yong’s quickening pulse under her fingertips could’ve worked if she had not been experiencing the same thing. She blamed it on their circumstances. The dark, the wild animals, the probability of being caught. 

Nothing more to it than that. 

▝▝▝

An old door was what they’d found right at the end of the dim pathway. There were another set of stairs right after it, but Byulyi assumed that it would take them to the farmlands outside the capital. Instead, she opened a cellar hatch door covered by tall grass to reveal empty streets. 

With a victorious hoot, Byul helped the princess emerge from the hole in the dirt. “We made it.” 

The roads to their left were illuminated by torches, one after the other, as well as by the moonlight that never seemed to stop shining on them at nighttime. The sound of screaming and laughter came from down the street, and Byulyi knew they had arrived to the right location. 

To their right, wooden temples rose above the clean water of the river that went through and out of their town. A canoe full of newly captured fishes navigated in the distance and the singing from the man pushing it mixed with the loudness of those down the street. 

Yongsun seemed so enthralled by everything that she’d forgotten to put the hood back on. Her eyes gleamed, her jaw hung agape as she struggled to take it all in. Byulyi could scarcely believe what could be so astonished at the less fancy part of the city. 

_ If I’d been locked up inside the palace walls since I was little I would also be aghast.  _

Well, if her mind put it like that. 

Properly taking Yongsun’s hand into hers now, interlacing their fingers perfectly, Byulyi smiled at the princess as her eyebrows rose in excitement. “Follow me.” 

She was glad that her armor had been left behind in her chambers. Leather and iron were heavy enough already to jog in. Running was even more difficult and tiring, to say the least. Her simple loose blue shirt, clean grey bajis, and pair of light boots were the perfect combination so she could drag Yongsun behind her. 

“Byul. Byul, wait.” The princess gasped after a while, forcing her bodyguard to stop in the middle of the road. The crowd had started to grow the more they went into the city, and some stared at them curiously. 

“You need more training.” Byul said before turning her back on Yong only to take the back of her thighs into her palms and gathering her weight against her back. “Now we can go.” 

“Byul-ah! If you drop me I’ll drown you in the river over there!” Yongsun yelled after attempting to stabilize herself with her arms tightly wrapped over Byulyi’s neck desperately. 

_ She won’t need to drown me if she ends up choking me before we even get there.  _

_ Wheein’s Fine Tavern  _ came into view after running for two or three streets. Moonbyul unceremoniously dropped the princess when they got close enough, half regretting her actions that were now being protested at by her back and arms. 

Maybe she would indeed show up to train the new recruits in the morning for a change.

The punch that Yongsun gave her right to her middle-back did not help. 

“That hurt.” The princess whined.

“Oh, you’re hurt?” 

“I didn’t ask you to carry me.” 

“Why, I didn’t ask you to eat so many fishcakes.” 

Another punch. Harder. 

She might’ve deserved that one. 

The door of the pub opened wide to reveal a large group of people dancing to music being played by a small troupe atop a stage in the middle of the building. A fat man welcomed them in, directing the couple to an empty table near the broken window that had some dried blood still clinging to it. 

“Extravagant.” Byulyi said, approving of it. If anything it was a clear warning on what could happen if anyone acted like an ass.

A buff, half-drunk man was passed out on what would have to be Yongsun’s chair. The princess eyed him indignantly, as if by it he’d get up and leave. 

Chuckling, Moonbyul got up from the only chair left for that table and offered it to Yongsun by jumping and sitting on the table instead. 

“You’re going to get us kicked out.” The eldest complained but still took the offered seat. 

The table was old and she hoped that it would not break under her weight. Still, she put on a brave face for the sake of Yongsun’s enjoyment for the night. 

“You’re going to get us kicked up if you order wine. Get soju instead. Or ale.” 

“My system is not really that good with alcohol.” 

“ _ Now  _ you’re really going to get us kicked out. Stop that.” 

If looks could kill, Byulyi was sure that Yongsun’s glare would have her a hundred feet under the ground already. She felt the tiniest bit afraid, quite honestly. 

“Well, I can’t call you  _ your highness  _ out here. Or your real name either.” 

“Come up with something a bit respectful at least.” The way the other woman could swiftly go from murderous to a pouty mess made Byulyi’s stomach twist and tickle. She blamed it on hunger.

“Ddun.” She said before she could think twice about it. It just felt logical. It felt right. It felt-

“That’s dumb.” 

“You’re dumb.” Byul mumbled loud enough for Yong to hear. 

She did, and the lethal stare was back. 

There was a knife too close to Yongsun’s hand for Byul’s comfort. Whether she knew how to use one or not, Byul preferred not to take any chances. 

Her little finger inched closer to it, but so did a brown-haired woman with a round face and big eyes. The height made Byulyi remember her right away as the one that had kicked that drunk man’s ass the other day. Indeed terrifying.

“What can I get you two?” 

“We-” 

“Is there any old, fine wine in the cellar by any given chance, dear?” 

Moon Byulyi did everything in her power not to facepalm herself right there. Really, she did. 

“Do you want to get kicked out?” The confused-looking woman asked.

“Just two glasses of ale, please. Don’t listen to her. She makes bad jokes all the time. I can’t really take my sister anywhere without having her shame the family’s name.” 

“I swear I’m-” Yongsun whispered threateningly. 

“Also, I’m sure you’re as lovely as you look. Could you please get us another chair? I’m afraid this drunkard denied a pretty lady like myself a place to sit.” 

The woman didn’t do much to try to hide her blushing cheeks away from Byulyi. With a giggle, she pushed her softly with a hand, and then pushed the sleeping drunk man more harshly so he ended up falling face-first onto the floor. 

“There you go.” She smiled sweetly, offering the chair to the blonde.

“You have my gratitude, my lady.” 

“I’m no lady.” She said, looking down to her feet. “My name is Jung Wheein. I’m the owner of this tavern.” 

“The owner?” Yongsun asked in surprise. It was then that Wheein’s eyes landed on her for the first time since the wine fiasco. 

“Jung Wheein.” The bodyguard repeated the name to herself, gazing around at the inn they were in. There was a second floor right above them, wooden railings decorated with vines and flowers that seemed to have died a while ago. 

Two chandeliers hung from the ceiling, illuminating the entire building. The kitchens looked busy enough and full of just the right kind of alcohol anyone would expect outside the highborn areas. Delicious still, even better than the wine some lords and ladies boasted about. 

The music was loud, the dancing and shouting was even louder, and everyone seemed to be loving it a little bit too much. Even Yongsun, to her surprise. She looked like a child almost, someone who had never seen the world first discover there was an ocean or land beyond the mountains. 

It was endearing. 

With a smile, Byulyi continued. “I’ll make sure to memorize that name. There is someone that might like to know it.” 

Wheein didn’t push for more information regarding  _ who  _ that person might be. Byul was thankful for it, she wasn’t yet quite ready to explain to Yongsun that her lady-in-waiting had developed a crush on a lowborn owner for a tavern in the slums. 

No, that would be a conversation for some other time. Maybe while she’s eating. It would be hilarious to see her choke on some asparagus. 

For now though, the princess only examined her curiously. Her amazement for the new world around her had faded and now, her bodyguard seemed to be of more importance. 

“What?” Byulyi asked as she chewed on some of the bread-rolls that Wheein left on the table before leaving. 

“Your sister? Really?” 

A shrug. “We do not really look alike, I know that. It’s just the best I could come up with.” 

“I’m surprised you even thought about something at all.” 

“Hey, now.” Byulyi started before being interrupted by a man behind her. He wasn’t drunk, or at least he didn’t seem to be as inebriated as others in the room. He towered above the pair on the table, but his face was kind.

Byul disliked him instantly. 

With a courteous bow, he directed his attention at Yongsun. “My lady. Would you like to dance?” 

The blonde knew that her choking on the bread-rolls instead was just a disgraceful, ironic jest by the universe. Yongsun seemed to be enjoying her coughing a little bit too much, it seemed. As soon as she regained her composure, Byulyi truly pondered if exile over fist-fighting the heiress to the throne would be worth it.

Maybe it would be.

“Is everything alright?” The lad asked. He didn’t sound ill-intentioned at all. It was fairly normal for men and women to dance together in gatherings like this. 

It was just that Byulyi wasn’t particularly keen on the idea. 

Yong seemed to catch onto it real quick. The blonde silently stowed a thousand curses on the princess’s ability to read her so easily and so well. It’d been cute at first. Now, it was starting to get annoying. Especially in moments like this. 

“On the contrary,” Yongsun said, getting up from her chair so she could take the lad’s arm. “I’m sure my sister would not mind in the least.” 

_ Oh, it would be so worth it.  _

“Yong.” Byulyi called after her as she walked away, arm-in-arm with the boy, no longer caring about who would hear or who wouldn’t. “Yongsun!” She tried again to no avail. The eldest was already in the center of the room, doing her best to try and keep up with the fast pace of the buks and piris. 

Two jugs full of ale were placed in front of her. She slurped one down immediately. 

“Where’s your sister?” Wheein asked, brow furrowed. 

“Off being an idiot.” 

“Some people just come to dance instead of drink.” She explained, taking Yong’s seat in front of Byulyi who just kept downing the first jug. “That boy that asked your sister to dance is very good at it. He’s awfully sweet too.” 

“Mhm.” Second jug. Not time to burp. 

“I believe he really likes her though. He almost never pulls the women he asks for a dance that close.” 

The second jug was no more. It crashed on the floor with half ale still in it, which prompted Wheein to let out a small shriek in shock. Byul’s neck almost cracked as she turned to the center of the room to find the man’s hands locked around the princess’s waist, laughing about something as he lowered his head to whisper in her ear. 

“You’re going to have to pay for that, are you aware?” 

Whatever Byulyi had in her pockets, she put on the table. It sounded like it was a lot, judging by Wheein’s gasp. Maybe it was some of the gold she’d decided to take with her just in case they needed to bribe someone into silence. 

Gold, silver, whatever it was. Jung Wheein could have it all. 

All she wanted then was to get the man’s hands off of Yongsun as fast as she could. 

_ She’s the Princess. No man that’s not her betrothed is supposed to touch her.  _

Or so she convinced herself as she lunged forward, heavy steps almost making a hole on the floor as the  thuds  echoed above the loud music. 

Yongsun saw her approach. Unsurprisingly, she had that mischievous smirk Byulyi both hated and cherished. 

Her hands weren’t exactly placed on the man’s shoulders, but on still on his arms, as if she were trying to get as much distance as possible while still making Byulyi lose her mind. 

The bodyguard cleared her throat quiet hoarsely to announce her presence. Despite looking baffled, the man didn’t let Yongsun go. 

“Yes?” 

“I want to dance with her.” 

“With your sister?” 

“Yes. Does that trouble you?” 

Yongsun was trying to prevent a snort from coming out. Byulyi could hear the faint giggles from there. 

Gods, she hated her. 

“Well, I’m dancing with her right now. Maybe you could-” 

“Fairly well.” With the last ounce of patience completely gone, Moonbyul reached for the sword she’d hidden under her oversized shirt. 

The sound of steel sliding out of its scabbard was then followed by a hundred more in the tavern. Both men and women stood with their weapons in hand, ready for whatever may come. Many were of lower quality, Byulyi knew. Even with the entire place going against her, her sword would still cut through all of their wooden-like ones. 

Right now, though, she only craved to cut through the man in front of her, whose hands had finally left Yongsun’s body to be held up in the air in surrender. 

“Where’s your courtesy?” He demanded, scowling down at the bodyguard. 

“Where’s your sword?” Byul demanded back. Her sword didn’t go back into its place until the unwanted man was out of sight, backing up until he disappeared into the crowd.

With a smug, winning grin, she turned back to Yongsun. 

“Was that really necessary?” 

“Don’t pretend like you didn’t enjoy it.” 

The princess rolled her eyes but gave no answer. 

_ I did. _

Byulyi had learned to read her as well. She was sure the other woman knew so because she was suddenly being pulled by the front of her shirt to stand under the chandelier, back to the center of the room. 

Prying eyes had gone back to their business. The music had never stopped, not even for the turmoil. If anything, the rhythm had quickened. Many went back to dancing around them but the pair paid no mind to the bodies casually crashing against theirs.

Byul’s eyes went wide when Yongsun moved her hands to circle her waist. Her fingers twitched nervously as she tried to be gentle. Too focused on the movements under her palms, her mind snapped back to attention when she felt two hands resting on her shoulders, toying with the loose threads of her blue shirt. 

“I thought you wanted to dance.” Yongsun said matter-of-factly. It sounded too innocent to come from her, and Byulyi knew she was being challenged. 

No rebuttal came out of her mouth, though. Her brain found itself failing as Yong got closer to her by circling the back of her neck. 

It was then that Byul somehow gathered the courage to look up. Yongsun was looking at her, right into her soul, and Byulyi decided then that deep-brown eyes were the only thing she wanted to see from now on. 

“How does it feel?” 

Moonbyul felt the question being whispered against her skin more than actually hearing it. The music had gone down, although she wasn’t sure if that wasn’t just her brain shutting it out so she could solely focus on the woman right in front of her as they swayed slowly, Yong's beautiful, baggy pink bajis moving with them.

“What thing?” 

For an instant, it looked like Yong took a glimpse at her lips before going back to her eyes. Maybe. She could’ve missed it with a blink. 

“Loving women.” 

Everything around her seemed to stop. The music, the shouting, the dancing, and the lighting. 

Everything was Kim Yongsun and Kim Yongsun was everything. 

With a deep breath, Byulyi sighed her reply. “Sweeter.” 

▝▝▝

They weren’t sure exactly on how late it was. Judging by how many people had already gone back home and how dark everything was, they assumed it was past midnight. 

The streets were empty, and some of the torches that provided light when they first arrived were off. Some areas were swallowed by darkness, and so the princess and the bodyguard held hands. 

_ For protection,  _ of course. Nothing in that moment terrified Moonbyul the most than having someone snatch Yongsun away from her. 

_ The realm. Only she could snatch her away from the realm. _

The silence was comfortable. The cold nightly breeze made Byulyi feel back at home. The stars above them made her remember her childhood. The temples that soared above the river’s waterside gave her a warm feeling that dissipated the cold. 

“Let’s go there.” She told Yong in a low, gentle voice. 

Hand-in-hand, they approached the biggest temple among the three. The high ceilings were painted red and green, as were the wooden pillars that supported the structure. Stony bridges connected the temples, each a different combination of colors and statues at their entrances. 

A candelabrum dangled from the roofing, just a little bit fancier than the ones in the tavern, surprisingly enough. 

Yongsun looked around in awe, in amazement as she had back at Wheein’s. 

“Have you never been to a temple before?” Byulyi asked as she sat on the floor at one of the borders of the temple that overlooked the river that shone under the moonlight, prompting Yong to follow. 

“I have. We just have many back at the palace. There was never really an excuse to come out here.” 

Byulyi nodded with a beam that she knew made her look stupidly enamored. Despite being out of danger in the streets, their fingers were still intertwined, and when Yong’s thumb caressed the blonde’s hand, she felt like jumping into the river in glee.

Instead of dying of hypothermia however, Moonbyul just spoke as her feet kicked the air excitedly, dangling over the water. “You should come to the North and visit ours. They’re as beautiful as the capital’s. They overlook the snowy mountains during winter, and during spring the trees around them flower and fill the place with rosy petals.” 

The lip bite followed by an equally-adoring smile that Yong gave out had Byul reconsider the hypothermia consequences for a second. “I’d love to.” 

“You would love the North. It’s beautiful. It’s also a long way from here, so you would be able to see most of the kingdom.” The pause that Byulyi took in order to take a breath served for a part of reality to come back crashing into her head. “If you’re allowed to, of course.” She finished. 

“I won’t need to ask for permission once I’m queen.” 

_ Your husband’s.  _

Yongsun was fully aware of it. The way her eyes turned sad gave it away. 

“The North,” Byulyi ventured, encouraged by a newly found sense of bravery that she only seemed to find within her whenever she looked at Yongsun. A sort of bravery that didn’t involve the battlefield, but something much more profound and scarier. “Is freer too. Your rebellious nature would thrive there.” 

The jest made the glow return to her princess. Inside, Byulyi swore to do whatever she could to always keep her that way. Happy. 

“Would I make the North revolt so the other kingdoms could follow?” 

“I was thinking more about you ruling from the North.” 

“No King has ever ruled from outside the capital.” 

“Good thing you won’t be a King then.” 

When Yongsun laughed again, Byulyi thought that an uprising mayhaps wouldn’t be so bad. 

“Lack of sleep has you saying stupid things now.” 

“More than usual?” The bodyguard bantered, brow arching in inquisitiveness.

“More than usual.” Yong replied, cheeks dimpled. Her eyes examined every inch of skin on Byulyi only to end up looking right into a loving stare. “We should head back.” Yongsun said then, forcing herself to come back to reality at once.

“Right. Of course.” The blonde agreed with a nod but without any attempt to move. The river was suddenly interesting again, as was the land on the other side, and the boat anchored far to the right. 

“Byul-ah?” 

“Hmm?” Byulyi said, turning sideways to face her princess again. 

In a swift movement, Yongsun leaped forward and gave Byulyi a soft peck on the lips. “Thank you.” The woman whispered before jumping to her feet so they could return to the palace. 

It took the blonde a moment. It lingered, the feeling of Yongsun’s gentle lips, as quick as it was. It tingled to the touch, strangely so. 

It was dizzying. It was enthralling. It was-

“Byul-ah, if you don’t come here and stop acting stupid I’m going to push you into the water.” 

It was insufferable. 

▝▝▝

  
  


_ “How good are you at keeping secrets?”  _

_ “Not very good. Especially if we take into account that some people are already aware of what happened yesterday night.”  _

_ Death. Exile. Cleaning the privy for all eternity after a feast.  _

_ “Her grace kissed me. It wasn’t my fault. It was probably her just joking around.”  _

_ Silence. A bat of an eyelash.  _

_ “I meant you getting back late smelling like soju and falling asleep at the stables. Byul, you kissed the princess?”  _

_ Fuck. _

_ “She- I - It wasn’t - It was just a peck.”  _

_ “Do you crave death so badly?”  _

_ “Right now? Yes.”  _

_ “Are you together?”  _

_ “What? Of course not.”  _

_ “But you do like her.”  _

_ “I’m her bodyguard.”  _

_ “I shall take that as a yes. Worry not, I will stop intruding in your nightly walkbacks to her chambers. I don’t want to go blind.”  _

Going to Hyejin for advice was probably the stupidest idea Moon Byulyi had ever had in her lifetime. Right after listening to Hyejin and taking the princess out for the night, that is. 

Gods, she really needed to stop listening to Ahn Hyejin. 

She’d crashed in the stables as soon as they got back to the palace, that much was true at least. The princess would be safer if she made her way to her bedroom on her own. If seen, she could just come up with any excuse for being out of bed so late. 

But for Byulyi, a bit tipsy and still up in the clouds, the hay in the stables alongside the quiet company of the horses would do for the night. The events of the night played endlessly every time she closed her eyes. 

The touch of Yongsun’s palm against hers lingered, the smell of her perfume mixed with hers clung to her clothing, the softness of her lips remained on hers. Her own hands around Yongsun’s hips, pulling her closer until the colors of their eyes seemed to become one. 

A crash.

_ Well, there goes another glass. _

“Lady Moon Byulyi, are you unwell?” 

Having lunch with the King  _ and  _ his daughter with such thoughts running in her mind wasn’t exactly the perfect plan the blonde had foreseen for the day. All she’d wanted was to train the new recruits, clean the barracks, maybe even patrol around the walls for a bit before Kim Yongsun requested her presence for their stroll in the gardens. 

Anything to keep her mind busy and away from thoughts that might just mean treason to the kingdom. 

“My apologies, your grace.” Byul said, helping a servant pick the broken glass up. “I couldn’t sleep last night.” 

If Yong’s smirk wasn’t showing before, that smug grin she always had around whenever Byulyi would falter was certainly drawn on her now. 

_ Don’t look at her lips. What are you doing?  _

“I could recommend one of my best healers. I’m sure they have something to help you relax. I want my daughter’s bodyguard awake and well rested at all times. Not one guard had ever done such a fine job as you have with this one.” 

He was being sincere, kind. It made her feel guiltier. 

“Thank you, your grace. I will greatly appreciate it.” 

“Baths always help me to relax before bed. Do you know that, father?” Despite Yongsun’s words being addressed to the King, her stare was glued to her protector. “It might work for lady Moon Byulyi to get one too.” 

“It would be hard work to move your bathtub from your chambers to hers, though, child.” 

“It’s alright, father. She can bathe in my bedchamber. I’m sure Moon Byulyi wouldn’t mind.” 

_ Crash. _

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” 

Hyejin had had enough.

▝▝▝

She had seen Yongsun’s bedroom before, but she had never been  _ inside  _ Yongsun’s bedroom before. It was the closest to hers, and Byulyi knew it to have been the former royal chamber of the King and Queen before being passed down onto their only child as a gift.

To say it was massive would be an understatement. 

The floor was covered by a fluffy, red carpet with dragons embroidered on it. It covered the eternity of the room, disappearing only at the balcony with its own marble tiled flooring. The pillars going up had beautiful carvings that she was sure told the story of the birth of the kingdom, painted in a bright combination of majestic gold and burgundy. 

The bed’s silky covers blended beautifully with the rest of the room in a delicate magenta-like shade. The drapes that hid it from view and hung from the ceiling had Yongsun’s royal name sewn on it. It made Byulyi wonder if they had existed even before the princess had been born. A gift, maybe. 

An adjacent room to the left with an open door revealed the privy, the infamous large wooden tub right in the center. It was being filled with warm water, and when the servants noticed Byulyi’s presence, they stopped their work and curtsied. 

“My apologies.” The blonde mumbled with a slight shade of redness in her cheeks. “Magnificent work. Please, don’t mind me. Continue.” 

_ She was going to kill Yongsun.  _

“For someone so famous about her courting skills, you are awfully shy.” 

“Shut up.” Byul breathed out, no longer caring about who would listen to her rudeness anymore. 

The princess sat comfortably on her bed. Now that the drapes were well opened she could finally see her in all her egotistical glory. Her black hair was down, her face bare, shoes off, and a scarlet satin robe on. 

“What are you doing?” Byulyi asked tentatively, her entire body on high alert. 

A bell rang from the privy, followed by one of the maids. “Your bath is ready, your grace.” 

Yong shrugged innocently. “Taking a bath.” Much like the previous night, a soft hand came in contact with a palm calloused from years of handling a sword. “Come. The water will get cold if you don’t hurry.” 

Maids came dashing towards them as soon as Yongsun stepped into the bathing room. With a kind shake of her head, the blonde gestured she did not want to be helped out of her armor. It was too much work, and the princess’s maids would most likely not know where to begin. 

The leather stuck to her so tightly daily that she seldom could breathe from time to time. But now, with Yong’s robe falling ever-so-slowly to the ground, those suffocating moments seemed like nothing but a simple test. 

Her eyes caught a naked back before deciding that the brown boots she was sporting were far more interesting. It was stupid, she knew, to be acting this way. Childish, even. The bright crimson color in her cheeks refused to disappear as much as she wanted to, and by the looks of it, it was there to stay for the rest of the evening. 

The servants left the room at Yongsun’s command, now that she had been helped into the water, tub too tall for her to climb alone. Now, with a shield to cover her dignity, Byulyi turned to face her eldest. 

With her chin resting on an arm that was lying on the wooden edge of the round bathtub, Yongsun studied her. The bathtub seemed large enough to fit both of them comfortably and its depth helped to cover Yong’s modesty. 

Yet, under the heavy gaze, Byulyi felt more exposed than the naked woman in front of her. Fiddling nervously with a loose strap on her armored sleeves, the blonde dared not speak. 

Instead, the black-haired noble did. “Are you going to stand there the entire night?” 

A plain shrug. “I don’t feel like bathing.” 

“Are you sure? You could really use one. You stink.” 

Even the usual bickering couldn’t get Byulyi to feel fully comfortable with whatever was going on. It scared her as much as it excited her. The combination of both shot a spark of courage through her entire body, and so she went down on one knee to try to undo the laces of her boots.

It wasn’t that she was going to give Yongsun the satisfaction of getting her way by stripping and getting into the water with her completely.  _ If  _ that’s what she wanted anyway. Her mind could still not decide whether this was just an evil trick to make her uncomfortable or if she genuinely wished to share some intimacy with her. 

_ How much more intimacy could we get after what happened yesterday?  _

The boots came undone, and slowly but surely, so did the leather straps holding the iron sleeves, spaulders, iron skirt and front body armor made out of fine bronze.

A sword was next, the helmet long forgotten back in smithy for some polishing. It all hit the ground one by one, until nothing was left on her but a stained white undershirt and a pair of matching bajis that pooled down to her ankles. 

Yongsun’s eyes hadn’t left her form for a moment, as long and arduous as the process of removing her armor was. They still followed as the blonde effortlessly decided to jump and sit on the edge of the bathtub, opposite to the princess. 

With her bajis and long sleeves rolled up to her knees and elbows, hair down, and laces of her undershirt slightly undone to reveal some skin on her chest, Byul balanced her bodyweight to have her chin rest on her right hand, imitating Yong’s position from before. 

The water was crystal clear, and Byulyi did everything in her power to keep her glance strictly on the other woman’s face. 

“There is something I wanted to discuss with you.” Yong said, relaxing finally into her bath, facing her bodyguard.

“And could this conversation not happen in the great tower or the solar?” 

“As much as I trust most of the palace’s inhabitants, I’m afraid these walls still have ears.” 

“It sounds a little invasive.” It was turning more and more difficult for her eyes not to wander down Yongsun’s body, especially when droplets coming from her just wet hair raced downward on her neck, clavicle, and below. 

If the princess noticed, she did not say. “Why do you think I’ve never truly been able to escape?” 

The confession made Byul give out a little laugh. “Maybe that’s the reason for you being so well guarded then.” 

“I had to try. I have to.” 

The change in her features worried the blonde immediately. It wasn’t unusual for the woman to frown when deep in thought or concern, but there was something different about her now. Something she’d never seen in the princess before. 

Fear.

“Yong?” She asked tentatively. 

“The man I was promised to by my father is coming. I was notified this evening. He and his party are going to arrive in a week.” 

The betrothal had completely escaped her mind. Particularly after the prior night, or even the days before. It had not been brought up again by anyone, not even by the king himself, so the only time it crossed Byul’s mind she figured that the engagement had been broken up. 

Or Yongsun had had the man murdered by some sellsword. Both were convincing enough. 

It provoked a strange burning in the pit of her stomach that she could not quite place yet. Whether it was anger or sadness, the only thing she knew is that it was absolutely unpleasant. 

When her view flew back to Yongsun, it was clear that she was feeling the same, if not worse.

“Is there any place in particular you would like to get to by telling me this?” Byulyi questioned with a hard gulp. 

Yong had drawn her knees up to her chest, arms hugging them tightly. In the month and days she had known her, Byulyi didn’t think she’d ever seen her so fragile and vulnerable. It wasn’t something she showed often. 

It wasn’t really something a leader could display for the world to see. Instead, it was meant to be pushed in until the bearer could not endure such burden anymore. It broke them, shattered them into pieces. Maybe that’s why most rules went mad. 

_ Gods, why would anyone want to be king? _

“I was just hoping you could help me.” 

_ How,  _ she wanted to ask, but was too afraid of the answer. 

Could she bring herself to kill an innocent man that was most likely just doing what he was being told, just like Yongsun was? No, that wasn’t her. She was supposed to defend her people, not the opposite. 

_ Who are really my people, though?  _ She silently wondered as her gaze studied the black-haired heiress in front of her. Many times she had tried to belong and many times she had been cast away. Had it been not for her father, she would be suffering the same fate as Yongsun at that very moment. 

Was she blindly fighting for people who would not do the same for her? 

The overwhelming amount of questions flooding her brain distracted her from the sad eyes looking up at her. Her bajis had unrolled down and were now drenched. The sensation of wet clothing sticking to her skin still wasn’t as dreadful as the thought of Yongsun’s imposed destiny. 

And for her own self. Whatever it was that she was feeling. 

“What can I do?” 

“Just-” Yongsun breathed out, tears in her eyes. “Stay with me.” 

_ The sun sets and my journey begins. May it not rise again until my blood has tinted the skies red anew. I shan’t marry, take lands, or win glory. My life is the realm’s and the realm is my life.  _

_But everything was Kim Yongsun and Kim Yongsun was everything._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title of the fic comes from the song "renegades" by x ambassadors by the way. this was a long one but thank u very much for reading <3


	3. fall

Weeks had passed, and there wasn’t a single moment where Byulyi left her princess’s side. She would wake up earlier so she could wait for her each morning. A sleepy mess would greet her after knocking on the door, hair tangled, nightgown falling hopelessly down her left shoulder. 

It was a sight that Moonbyul adored more than she would care to admit. Even when said view would whine at her for waking her up. It would take more than an hour for Yongsun to get ready for breakfast. 

That was all the blonde needed to recover some sleep, snuggling one of Yong’s pillows as she napped on her bed as comfortably as her armor allowed her to. When it was time, the princess would take her revenge by jumping on the bed, making Byulyi plunge on the floor more than once.

Their day would start from there. After breaking their fast, Yongsun would usually follow her bodyguard to the barracks. There were some new recruits that needed training, and some old ones whose days off were spent gambling in the encampment. 

Most of them were always surprised to see the princess. It wasn’t often that she was allowed to walk so freely away from the palace. The fact that the King trusted Byulyi enough to keep his daughter safe was enough to make the blonde feel proud.

_ “Not even my own people know me.”  _ She had explained once as amazed mobs crowded their path. 

Byulyi learned that Yong had not always been this overly protected. It wasn't until her mother fell gravely ill after a long political trip that the king became paranoid. A rebellious daughter didn't help appease his worry, to say the least. So at the age of nine, and with the weight of being the future of the realm on her shoulders, Yongsun had become heavily guarded. 

For her own protection, everyone always said. She was the heiress to Silla, after all. It all made some sense in Byulyi's head. 

"I never asked to be a leader. I just wanted to be free. My mother got to see the world, why can't I?" 

The blonde figured that Yongsun wouldn't like her answer. 

_Because you're the most important person in the realm. Without you, they're all lost._

More burden to add to her already tired mind wasn't what the other woman needed at the moment, really. Especially not while stargazing on the princess's large balcony, the cold marble tiles under them teaming up with the chilly wind to make the pair shiver. It wasn't even winter yet, but judging by the crispy weather, it would be a tough one this year. 

Byulyi liked it. It reminded her of home. As much as she enjoyed being in the capital with Yongsun, her heart still ached for the North. 

Snapping out of her thoughts, she noticed a very focused Yongsun studying her while lying on her side, weight supported by her right elbow. Being under such heavy gaze made her feel small, and she shied away from it with a nervous laugh. "What?" 

"Have you ever kissed someone?" 

It was like her brain automatically shutdown. She _stuttered,_ for fuck's sake. "Wha-What the hell are you even talking about? Weren't we just talking about how miserable you are?" 

"I prefer making _you_ feel miserable." Oh, she knew what she was doing. That dumb, arrogant smirk that drew on her lips had become too familiar for Byulyi over the months. "Well, have you?" 

"Have _you_? " 

"That's not fair!" Yongsun whined as she sat up. Her black hair fell down, almost grazing her shoulders. In nothing but a thin nightgown, her arms and side gleamed beautifully under the soft glow of the stars above. It made it hard for Byul to focus on their current argument, the fifth one of the day. "I asked you first." 

"Why would you like to know?" The blonde asked, sitting up in order to face the princess. If she was going to win this, she had to at least feign being carefree and relaxed. Not that her first response helped her cause.

"I've been talking about my life for weeks now, and yet I have not heard much about yours." 

A shrug. "There isn't much to tell. Your loyal gossipers already told you most of what my life was like."

Silence settled in, with only the casual patrolling soldiers in the inner walls making a sound every now and then. Byulyi decided that she was hungry then, and stole Yong's cut apples and pears from her plate. The leather and steel of her armor had long been discarded in her room, and was now only wearing a simple white undershirt that matched the cream-color wide bajis that made her looks borderline ridiculous. 

Another chilly breeze made her regret leaving the leather behind, but at least she still had her boots on, contrary to Yongsun's bare-feet. When the princess shuddered, the bodyguard didn't hesitate. She hopped closer, leaving the half-finished fruit behind. Yong's eyes followed her with interest. Cautiously. She never really knew if Byul was about to do something adorable or annoying.

But tonight, it was the former. The blonde edged her hands towards Yong's until her fingertips brushed the back of them. Softly, she engulfed them in hers almost immediately. It felt like fire was running down their veins, like their joint grip would make the world around them burst in the blink of an eye. 

It was always like this. There was never a moment when their bodies touched that did not feel like fireworks had been set off inside of them.

Byulyi managed to convinced herself that the goosebumps on Yongsun's skin were due to the hot air she'd blown on her palms. It made more a beautiful sight, so she did it again.

"Byul." The princess asked huskily. 

"Yes?" 

"Have you?" 

_Oh, for heaven's sake._

It was really impossible to distract Yongsun if her mind was set on something. Her greasy tactics held no power there, she realized bitterly. Sometimes Yongsun was too smart and too witty for her own good. 

Just sometimes. 

"I have." She replied, shaking her head in defeat. "The baker's daughter when I was fifteen. She was pretty." 

"Prettier than me?" 

With a gentle hold on her hands still, cocky smirk on her lips this time, she replied. "Nobody is prettier than you, your grace." 

The whine she received followed by a sucker punch to her left shoulder proved something to her: her greasiness still worked after all.

▝▝▝

After some days, though, the men had grown accustomed to having the heiress they’d risk their lives for around. It was good for morale, or so Byulyi would like to tell her often during their midday break. 

They would eat their packed lunch under the shadow of a big, old tree near a creek. Sometimes they returned to the palace, but often they chose not to. As excellent as a hot meal was, nothing compared to relaxing against a large trunk, Yongsun babbling away to her side. 

“They’re getting better, but they need more training in archery. Also, I’ve heard some of them can’t swim. I think you’d do great at teaching them how to.” She went on and on, mouthful, cheeks adorably stuffed. 

Byulyi turned to the brook behind them. The water would most likely reach up to her shins. 

“Where? There?” She asked, mockingly, which earned her a soft blow to the leg. 

“Take them to town. Do you no longer remember the river we visited?” 

_ How could I forget? _

“They’ll drown.” 

“They are not going to drown if you teach them how to swim, stupid.” 

“I don’t think the locals will appreciate sweaty men dying in their drinking water.” 

Point taken. Or at least that’s what it felt like when Yongsun decided to change the topic of conversation. 

“Well then, teach me how to sword-fight then.” 

“What? No.” 

“Why not?” 

“If I do as much as grazing your oh, holy skin, the king will have my head.” 

The king would’ve had her head weeks ago if he knew how much they beat each other up daily. The observation earned her yet another blow. 

“Shut up. He won’t know.” 

Doubt still plagued her mind. It wasn’t that she was afraid of the king. She was afraid of Yongsun with a sword. 

As if on cue, a smile appeared on Yong’s lips. “You’re scared.” 

“I’m not!” 

“Yes, you are.” She said triumphantly, grapes disappearing gracefully into her mouth. “I would be too. You scrape too easily. One poke to the rib and you’re - Ow!” 

Two training swords, visibly falling apart from so much use, were abruptly launched to her feet, one managing to collide against the little finger of her left barefoot.

“Wood first. Steel later. I don’t want you tripping and ripping your head open to reveal absolutely nothing.” 

It turns out that Yongsun was indeed very good with a sword.

Just not good enough.

▝▝▝

Yongsun had later taken revenge on Byul by taking a liking to braiding her hair during breaks. It was usually up in a bun, just like Yong's, but the princess had one day appeared with the amazing idea of trying to fix it up so she didn't have to always carry it like that. 

The men had learned not to snicker after a few had ended up cleaning the public latrines and dirty stables for months. By Yongsun's orders, that was. 

No matter how long it took, Byul would always love the end result. Especially after Yong would tell her how handsome she looked.

▝▝▝

“What do you intend on telling the king if he asks you why his daughter happens to have so many bruises on her body? I do believe that it would be better to tell him that you’re sleeping with her at this point.” 

Hyejin was unbearable most of the time, but she had a thing for annoying Byulyi in the early morning, before the princess even had a chance of opening her sparkly-brown eyes. That particular topic was one of her personal favorites now, especially after seeing how flushed Byul became.

This morning, though, the end-result was the bodyguard choking in old ale. The show made Hyejin roar in laughter, one that she assumed would wake up half the still sleeping staff. 

Once recovered, Byulyi clarified with a sore throat. “We are  _ not  _ engaging in inappropriate affairs. Shut up before anyone hears you.” 

“This place is safe. Nobody to overhear my calumnies against you.” 

“Except for me!” 

“Except for her.” 

Jung Wheein had started to visit more and more often after Byulyi had to bribe Hyejin to not tell anyone about her and the princess escapade. She had told her Wheein’s name, which apparently had not been obvious to a wooed Hyejin by the huge name carved at the tavern’s entrance, and the shortest of them all had turned up all of the sudden. 

Nobody so far had noticed the pair emptying the kitchens in the last few days. The security around was atrocious. No wonder she’d been called to watch over Yongsun, other than the royal woman forcing every previous bodyguards to quit.

She fought the urge of wanting to get mad at Wheein for knowing. No, she wanted to get absolutely furious at Hyejin for letting Wheein know; but then if she did, it meant that there was indeed  _ something  _ to be known. A secret between her and Yongsun. 

If she got angry, she’d be admitting defeat. 

So with sigh, Byul just took a freshly made pie from Hyejin’s plate as revenge for her words earlier. Before the youngest could protest, the bodyguard swaggered her way out of the kitchens and into the palace above in search for the princess. 

It was still a bit early, so Yong ought to be still asleep. Being her bodyguard, though, she had the benefit of being allowed in her chambers whenever she wanted to. And so, she would sit next to Yongsun’s bed, sometimes reading a book or going through some papers that the princess needed to sign. 

Sometimes she’d glimpse at her sleeping form. Peaceful. Beautiful.  _ Quiet  _ for once. 

Then, Yongsun would stir awake and tell her off for creepily watching her sleep. A smile on her lips would usually betray her berating words, though. It would be enough for Byul to internally melt. 

How much she wished she could see her like that every morning. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by a yelp of surprise, followed by a hand yanking her behind a pillar. The mysterious individual quickly moved said hand from her arm to her mouth to keep the protests quiet. 

It was dim, but it didn’t take Byulyi great effort to know it was Yongsun. The softness of her skin against her lips mixed with the flowery scent of her favorite fragrance gave her away quite quickly. 

“They’re here.” The princess explained in a whisper, clearly aggravated. 

“Who?” Byul mumbled against a palm, brows knitted together in confusion. 

It wasn’t long until her question was answered, not specifically by the woman holding her hostage. Two voices echoed in the room, followed by a series of steps marching into the throne room. 

_ “I’m glad you arrived safely.”  _

_ “I thank you for your kindness, your grace; As well as for the proposal. Being betrothed to the princess is an honor.”  _

Fuck.

Dismay quickly mirrored Yong’s own dread. No, it was too quickly. Had it really been that long? Had they been so distracted with each other’s shenanigans that they’d forgotten about this? 

No, she had. Yongsun would never. Not with what was at stake. 

Looking down, Byul quickly realized that the princess was still in her night-clothes, hair still tangled, face clean. Removing Yong’s hand from her lips, not letting it go, the bodyguard muttered, “Follow me.” 

▝▝▝

It had become a game of sorts. Making up excuses to avoid spending time with the man, running off to hide under their bridge in the gardens, helping Yongsun escape awkward situations. It was all so childish, not things that women in their position should be doing at all. 

And yet, they would always giggle as they sneaked away, hand-in-hand, to whatever hideout Byul had found earlier in the day that was far away from prying eyes. 

Tonight, it was an abandoned smithy near the old, decaying tower well away from the renewed palace. The place was dirty and it smelled kind of funny, but it was better than the barrack’s collective bathrooms from days before. 

There was a hole in the roof that allowed some moonlight to lighten the otherwise dark room. Some old tools lied on rusty tables, and it took Byul no time to pick one up and try it. 

A hammer was first. It was still good, but way too heavy. The loud clanking noise it made against the anvil made Yongsun confiscate it from her. The rest of the old tools followed, just in case. 

With nothing else to do then, the bodyguard sat on one of the tables, praying that it would not succumb under her weight. Yong would never let her forget it. 

It was oily and the dark-purple hanbok she’d been requested to wear instead of her traditional armor for dinner was most likely ruined. She did not care though. She’d had to wear it to appear formal when dining with Yong’s betrothed. Her mind had never come up with an escape plan as quickly before.

“So,” She started, trying to make conversation with a clearly annoyed Yongsun. She wasn’t mad at her, which was a first. “What have you made of all of this?” 

“Taking into account that I’ve been hiding most of the time, what do you think?” 

“I’m just wondering.” Byulyi said. “What’s he like?” 

From afar the man looked decent enough. Not awful or ugly enough to hate him, which was something Byulyi desperately wanted to do. Mayhaps she was just looking for a reason to put a sword between the man’s eyes. An inappropriate action towards Yongsun or disrespectful words that would even have the king drowning in rage, but nothing ever happened. 

Yong’s response did not help her cause either. “He’s okay, I suppose. He’s kind.” 

_ I’m kinder,  _ Byul thought bitterly. With no tools to fidget with, her hands were now busy playing with an old yellow piece of cloth. 

“Would you wed him just for his kindness then?” 

“Don’t be daft. I would not wed anyone over anything.” 

“Not even me?” 

It might have been the wine that had been served earlier that chilly night what gave her the courage to ask. Maybe it was just the fact that a dumb question would not really add more oddity to the situation they were both currently in. 

Yongsun’s hesitation to answer the teasing question made her feel funny inside, particularly when she let out that unique whine of hers. 

“Stop flirting and being so greasy. This is not the time.” 

That got her attention, brows shooting upwards. “Oh, so there is a time?” 

“Yes. When I’m not in the middle of a panic attack, mayhaps.” Her eyes scanned the smithy, or whatever was visible inside. “Most preferably not in a dark, cold room such as this one too.”

Although she could not see her very well, her voice still sounded sad. Distracted. Lingering in frustration, which translated into anger that was not meant to be directed at Byulyi at all; and yet, the soldier took it without question. 

“I’m sorry.” Moonbyul said softly, “I will try to find a better place to hide next time.” 

Gods, it truly made Yongsun feel like shit. With remorse in her features, she approached the woman sitting on the old table, placing her hands on Byulyi’s knees in a sign of comfort. “No, no. Byul-ah. I’m sorry. I should not even be asking this from you.” 

“I don’t mind.” And really, she did not. The less time Yongsun spent around that man and more with her, the better in her book. With still some courage in her, her right hand flew to cup the princess’s face tenderly. “You’re doing great, Yong.” 

The eldest sighed, fingers grazing Byulyi’s own. “It doesn’t feel like I am.” 

Had this happened months ago, Byul was sure that she would’ve told the other woman to fulfill her duty. 

That despite her own feelings, she needed to go through with the marriage for the good of her people. She would wallow in her own hypocrisy in the name of the realm, ignore the helpless looks Yongsun would direct at her, put her fealty to the king in first place like every sworn soldier of the kingdom ought to do. Everything she ever wanted and everything she ever needed. 

It all had changed now. Yongsun had, somehow, become everything Byulyi wanted and everything she needed, to an extent not even her own soul could even grasp. The realization of how she would be willing to ride to the end of the world and back for her princess engulfed her being to the point of no return. 

The blonde moved just close enough to give Yongsun a long kiss on the forehead. Tenderly, adoringly, hoping to convey the unsaid yearning in her heart with it. 

Yongsun closed her eyes, fists holding tightly onto Byulyi’s ruined hanbok, holding her breath. She collapsed into the woman’s chest with a sigh and into waiting arms that held her securely, not wanting to let go. 

“Sometimes doing what we can is doing our best, Yong.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that last quote is heavily inspired by jojo rabbit, my personal favorite movie, by the way. anyhow, final chapter coming up soon, i'm working hard on it. thank you to everyone that takes their time to read, leave kudos and even comment. each one means so much to me. i never really thought anyone would like my work so i'm really glad you do <3


	4. winter

The old tower near the south gate still kept the deep secrets of a long-forgotten ancient library. Nobody ever visited, nobody even knew it was still standing. Whenever Yongsun felt like escaping, at least for a few hours, that was the place she ran to. Ever since she was a child the old tower had provided her with solitude and a weird sense of protection. 

Years had passed and only she had ever known about it, until now. Now that Moon Byulyi was comfortably lying on a long chair, skimming through one of the abandoned books lying on a decaying table. One single candle would cast some light to the right side of her face, the other half hidden in the darkness that engulfed them.

It made for a pretty sight, Yong determined, albeit in silence as to not hurt her pride. For almost a year she had known Byulyi, but all she had ever seen from her bodyguard was either utter silliness or care. Never did she really think she’d live to see her angry. Frustrated.  _ Jealous?  _

They had managed to escape again, but barely so. It was starting to get more difficult to avoid her responsibilities towards her betrothed, even more so now that her father had taken notice. Three knights he had sent in the afternoon to escort her to the gardens where her betrothed would be waiting. She’d never seen Byulyi think faster. She’d never ever seen Byulyi jump from a balcony either, beckoning for her to follow right after. 

She’d scraped her knee, but as soon as Yongsun guided the blonde to her usual hiding place, the wound had been carefully tended to. Now it was covered in some torn cloth that came from Byulyi’s long-sleeved red shirt. 

The stinging that was still kind of present was quickly being drowned by a tingling sensation that Byul’s lips had left behind after she sweetly kissed the covered bruise as a final touch to her ministrations.

If the times were different, Yongsun would throw a book right to her face for being so corny, but now, with Byulyi’s sweet side covered in darkness and her sullen side the only illuminated by the poor light, she did not dare. 

The princess sat cross-legged on the floor. It was dusty, but there were cushions around that helped with the freezing cold that winter brought upon the kingdom. If she were covered in more fur, she wouldn’t be able to walk. 

The blonde looked as relaxed as her current state of mind allowed her to be, in nothing but her usual leather armor, with the only addition of a pair of black gloves and wool boots. Northerners might perish under the southern sun, but thrived in the snow. 

Yongsun found it endearing, especially with Byulyi’s nose and cheeks tinted adorably in a bright crimson color, some snowflakes still clinging to her long eyelashes for dear life. 

To be able to behold that sight for most of the year, the princess thought, would be a blessing. 

“Are you dying?” 

“Huh?” 

Byul’s voice took her out of her trance immediately. The woman in the chair was staring at her curiously, the sulkiness still present on her features. The book had been long discarded aside, the candle almost out. 

Damn it, she’d lost track of time again.

“You have not blinked in a while. I thought maybe you had died and was just frozen in place.” 

“And you decided to ask until now?” Okay, maybe she wasn’t  _ that  _ adorable. 

Moon Byulyi only shrugged, taking another old book in hand to inspect it. The melodrama of it all was starting to get on Yong’s nerves. It had been cute at first, but now, with her bodyguard brooding like a child with zero acknowledgement towards her, it was maddening. 

“Are you?” She asked back in defiance, chin propped up.

“What?” 

“Are you dying?” 

“What kind of dumb question is that?” Byulyi replied, not looking up from the item she was holding. 

Okay, now Yongsun had gone from daydreaming to annoyed. It was quite something that nobody but Byulyi managed to make her go through that upheaval of emotions in such a short time-span. 

The book was gone before Byul knew it, thrown somewhere to the back of the library. Not only had it disappeared, but now Yongsun was also facing her closely, hands propped on each side of the chair, trapping her completely. 

“Stop playing stupid and tell me what’s going on with you.” 

“Yong, will you stop-” One small movement and she was quickly pushed back onto the chair. Gods, how she wishes the black-haired woman wasn’t the princess just so she could throw something at her in this very moment. “What?”

“We got away, Byul-ah. We can stay here until after dinner. They won’t find us.” 

“Yes.” The bodyguard mused, eyes focusing on everything but Yongsun’s. “Yes, but we can’t stay here forever, can we? We won’t be able to get away forever.”

“I thought you didn’t care-”

“I do.” Stare straight into Yong’s eyes now. Finally. Oh, how much she’d missed them. “I do care. He’s not right for you.” 

_ And you are? _

“Do you think I am not aware of that, Byul-ah? What would you have me do differently?”

She waited. 

She hoped.

_ Let’s runaway together.  _

With a heavy sigh, eyes averting, Byul croaked, “Nothing.”

▝▝▝ 

Lying wasn’t good for the soul and Moon Byuli knew it. It wasn’t good for anything at all, especially if the other person knew you were lying. And oh, Yongsun does know. Yongsun has her in the palm of her hand, all of her layers out for nobody but her to know them. 

Yongsun knows when Byulyi is lying. 

Yongsun knows when Byulyi doesn’t push herself far enough to do something she knows she can do. 

And Byulyi doesn’t know which of the two angers Yongsun more. 

Both, she’d guess, if the princess not opening the door for her that morning was enough of a hint. 

“You’re an idiot, I hope you know that.” 

“I concur.” 

Hyejin and Wheein were no help at all, to make things worse. But Hyejin did owe her some favors; favors that were about to be paid as a necklace made out of gold with inserted diamonds was set on the table by the youngest of the three. 

“I do know that.” Byul said, taking the item delicately into her hands as if it were going to break. It was mesmerizing, both a moon and a sun that could be together if chosen or be separated to be worn by two people even if they were away from each other. Hyejin had outdone herself with this one. “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have asked you for this.” 

“I know I’m not supposed to ask but I’m going to anyway.” And how could anyone ever deny Jung Wheein? “What is going on between you and her grace?” 

“You heard Hyejin. I’m an idiot.” The blonde explained, putting the necklace back into the pretty wooden box. 

“I mean, what’s really happening?” 

Maybe you  _ can  _ deny Jung Wheein once or twice in your lifetime.

“I just care for her. That's all.” 

▝▝▝ 

The door had gone unanswered again the following morning, with the exception of it opening as she walked away. She’d turned just in time to see the box disappearing into the bedroom, door shutting down quickly after. 

Maybe she would like it. Maybe she wouldn’t. It was a long shot whenever Yongsun got angry. Really angry. It had only happened a few times in the last year and the silent treatment had been borderline unbearable. Especially when the only company of choice were her trainee soldiers and Hyejin. 

Not this time. She would not go through Chinese checkers with Hyejin again, now with the addition of Wheein. She would much rather quit and travel maybe West, where she’d get herself a small farm and buy some sheep. 

Yes. That could work. 

“Her grace, Kim Yongsun, princess of Silla.” A guard announced as Yong entered the great hall where dinner would be served and oh, she was definitely wearing the necklace. 

Eyes almost popping out of their sockets, Byulyi needed to take a sip of wine to convince herself that this was indeed real.

Not only that but she looked so beautiful. Maybe it was the fact that she had not seen her for two days, or maybe it was just the fact that Kim Yongsun was utterly mesmerizing. 

And Gods be damned if she was not going to take the opportunity to let her know. As soon as Yong took a seat next to her, the blonde whispered. “You’re gorgeous.” 

“And you’re absolutely aggravating.” Her tone sounded harsh, but that smirk of hers betrayed her. 

It only made Byulyi want to jump in glee. 

Before she could counter-attack though, the King spoke. “Dear, your betrothed came to me today in worry. He says that he wishes to spend more time with you before the wedding but he always fails to find you available.” 

Or maybe her father had not really been the one to send the three knights the other day after all. 

“I’ve just been...busy, father. I’ll try in the morrow.” 

_ Find a hiding place for tomorrow. Noted. _

“Nonsense. I already cleared you from all of your duties for tomorrow. You’re free to spend the day with him.” 

He meant well, Byulyi really knew he did. 

It still did not stop her from thinking that perhaps the kingdom was in need of another rebellion. Another civil war. Another kingdom. 

Another dynasty. 

▝▝▝ 

  
  


With no other way out but to follow the King’s order, Byulyi had come across the unpleasant sight of Yong on a stroll with her betrothed through their usual gardens that morning. The only escape for her was out of the palace.

It made her angry, more than she already was as she wobbled her way back to the palace at dusk, arm swung over a very pissed off-looking Hyejin. Some new recruits marched wordlessly behind them, following the trail of blood that Byulyi’s open cut was leaving behind. 

A brawl between a thief and a merchant combined with her cloudy mind had really not given the best of results. Especially not when that specific part of the city was not popularly known for being peaceful. 

At least something had come out of the situation: they now were aware that the new soldiers were garbage. 

It was nothing really that serious. The men had been apprehended at the end and would face trial, one for robbery and the other one for harming a member of the royal’s guard. A little stab to the bicep and a tiny open cut on the exposed skin of her backhand. 

_ “Stop saying it like you’re not bleeding, goddammit.”  _

She was glad that Hyejin had tagged along. Had she been alone the new men wouldn’t have known what to do. The wounds were not exactly life-threatening, but open still. They had not brought horses along, thanks to a very heated Moon Byulyi that had stormed off the palace without looking back, not even at Yongsun. 

Gods, she felt bad now. And not only because of the snoopy stares of the townsfolk around them as they finally reached royals grounds. 

▝▝▝

“You are such an idiot.” 

“You really do need to come up with new insults. These are getting old.” 

“You could’ve died.” 

“They’re just flesh wounds.” 

“You were stabbed!” 

“It wasn’t like I did it on purpose.” 

“Are you sure about that?” 

“With your permission, Yongsun. I feel like I should definitely get paid a little bit more for this.” Hyejin interfered, standing behind Jung Wheein, who was tending to Byulyi’s wounds. 

It wasn’t exactly the infirmary. It was the abandoned solar near the eastern corner tower. Byul had not wanted everyone to see her like this, defeated by a pair of nitwits with rusty blades. Instead, she’d sneaked her way past the courtyard, the keep, and the large pond to lick her wounds in the empty building behind tall trees.

Wheein had been fetched by Hyejin in the blink of an eye. It wasn’t really surprising to Byulyi that she was around. Matter of fact, it wouldn’t be surprising to know that Wheein was already living most of her daily life in the palace. Nobody really noticed much around.

Except for a bloodied, brooding blond trying to be sneaky; and news traveled faster than the wind in the Kim palace. It was not long until a very exasperated Yongsun, still dressed in the traditional long sleeved, red hanbok reserved only for special occasions, appeared under the doorway. 

The shouting did not really come as a surprise either. 

Trying her best to keep herself together, and most specifically to keep her hairpiece from falling, Yongsun spoke as calmly as her temper allowed her to at the moment. “Hyejinnie. Wheein. Thank you for helping her. Could you give us a moment alone?” 

Without needing to be asked twice, Hyejin almost threw herself out of the window with great pleasure. Wheein followed, with the addition of a warm smile directed at the princess. The door was shut, and so it was just the two of them. 

Silence fell around the pair. It wasn’t uncommon, but it was odd when it felt awkward. The princess opened and closed her mouth a few times, unsure on what to say next, as her bodyguard studied her from the dusty cushions she was occupying. 

The cuts were sewn closed, the skin around it red. Wheein had left some bandages behind, not quite done with Byulyi yet, so the blonde decided to pick one up and start dressing the now healing stab on her arm, still bleeding a bit. 

The sight made Yongsun groan. “Let me do that, stupid.” 

Delicate hands wrapped the newly made bandages around her arm. No words were said, but Byulyi gazed at the working woman with a sense of adoration she’d never felt for anyone else ever before. If Yongsun felt her loving eyes on her, she did not say anything. 

Her hand was next, which was a bit more painful than expected, making Byulyi flinch at the touch. 

“It’s alright.” Yongsun cooed, “It’s alright.” 

With a final roll, Yongsun finished the process with a sweet kiss to the now covered hand. When the princess looked up at her with the same amount of yearning, Byulyi could scarce control her actions anymore. 

Without thinking, Byulyi’s lips met Yongsun’s in a tender kiss. It wasn’t a peck like the one they’d shared back in the temple. It wasn’t really a long, passionate one. It did not carry everything that Byul wanted to express, just the right amount. 

Pulling away, the blonde dared to face the princess. Her eyes were still closed, lips parted, cheeks flushed. She looked the most beautiful Byulyi had ever seen her before. 

“Yong.” She whispered to her, bringing up her injured hand to trace soft patterns on the other woman’s jaw. “Don’t marry.” 

Those words were all it took for Yongsun to pull her into a sealing kiss that sent both of her hearts fluttering intensely. The princess’s fingers curled at the back of Byulyi’s neck, holding her as close as humanly possible as their lips moved against each other, teeth nipping inquisitively. 

It was the greatest they had ever felt, warmth rising to their chest and then down to their bellies. Yong moved slightly without breaking the kiss, turning completely to face Moonbyul and give her more room to explore, to feel. 

When they finally parted, it was to catch their breaths, as they gazed lovingly into each other’s eyes. Byulyi smiled sheepishly, one that Yong had never really seen on her. 

It made her giggle. It made her eyes sparkle. It made her smile bigger and her cheeks rosier.

In that moment, Moon Byulyi swore she would go to go to war for Kim Yongsun.

She was going to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the ending is loosely based on the actual fall of the silla empire, which were rebellions from other kingdoms and civil wars that ended up overthrowing silla, including the northern kingdom.
> 
> just, in my inaccurate historical version it's because of this. listen, who would not go to war over yongsun? let's be critical here. anyhow, thank you all for reading again, for your kudos, and your comments <3 i promise i read every one of them and they go straight to my heart. this was one of my favorite stories to write thanks to y'all.
> 
> find me on tumblr: @dearbyulyi  
> twitter: @elliesiljido  
> ko-fi: @johannmoon  
> or even twitch: @moonjohanns and ps if y'all play: RenMir_Dynasty 
> 
> be safe and be happy <3

**Author's Note:**

> please take the keyboard away from me so i can stop writing moonsun aus. it's almost midnight. anyhow, i promise promise promiseee to finish this one. 
> 
> comments and/or kudos are always greatly appreciated.
> 
> find me on tumblr at @dearbyulyi <3


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